The 4th Trimester

Finally, after months of anticipation you finally get to meet your baby. As you enter into motherhood, you are met with a period in time, which many don’t speak of… the fourth trimester. The fourth trimester refers to the initial 3 months of your baby’s life. This is an incredibly challenging time. A time to prioritise self-care and establish a solid, healthy attachment relationship with your baby.

Before launching into strategies to survive the fourth trimester I believe it’s important to explain why the fourth trimester exists. Whilst in utero your baby is confined in a warm, dark, soothing space. When your baby is born, your baby is exposed to lights, sounds, and sensations. They will now experience hunger as well as possible digestive discomfort. All of which can be overwhelming, over stimulating and confusing.

Newborn babies can’t express their individual needs specifically. Whether its sensing hunger, experiencing pain, feeling hot or cold, simply wanting to feel your touch or to have you in view. The only way of telling us this is to cry.  

Your baby is, of course, adjusting to a new reality now that they are earth side, just as you are as their parent. You may be incredibly sleep deprived, have engorged breasts, be trying to process the birth of your baby, be experiencing some joint, abdominal or perineal discomfort, along with some pretty challenging hormonal shifts as your body adjusts back to no longer being pregnant. Quite suddenly you are now responsible for the comfort, specific needs and survival of another human being.

As daunting as this sounds, the fourth trimester is a phase, a phase which will pass. To get through we can start with some strategies to keep you and your baby as calm as possible.

1.      Swaddle your baby- swaddling is therapeutic for your newborn. It is a mimic of the somewhat snug space they have resided in for the last few months. It provides containment of their arms, whilst reducing the movement angle produced by the activation of their startle reflex, which is now in overdrive as they adapt to the new sights, sounds and sensations of the outside world.

2.      Baby wearing- baby wearing is simply carrying your baby in a baby carrier or sling. Baby wearing may be useful during the fourth trimester as it may help to sooth an over stimulated baby. Baby wearing is wonderful for helping your baby to nap, as well as assisting in heart rate and temperature regulation.

3.      Avoid the over stimulated colic- Often times an over stimulated / over tired baby will present with colic. If this happens send your visitors home, take your baby to a dimly lit room, feed your baby, allow your baby to rest on your chest so he can hear your heartbeat, and promote the calm of being together in silence.

4.      Invest in a baby swing or bouncer- the motion of the swing can be soothing for newborns. Which will allow you to have empty arms!

5.      Call upon your tribe- ask for help with the cooking, washing etc. If someone offers to watch the baby so you can sleep, or take the toddler for a few hours so you and your newborn can have a day nap, accept their kindness with good grace. They are genuine, not judgy.

6.      Practice self-care- you can’t pour from an empty cup. Therefore, be sure you are nourishing your body and keeping well hydrated. Accept offers of home cooked meals and remember to drink plenty of water. Try and shower daily, you will feel better for it!

7.      Know when to seek help- if you are having a difficult time adjusting to parenthood, having trouble sleeping even when your baby is sleeping, feeling excessively nervous, sad, angry or on edge you may find it helpful to talk about it either to a trusted support person or your GP…. and you know we are always here to help – ph. 03 5324 2900.

8.      Expect to be on a 24/7 clock- when a baby is born they have yet to establish a circadian rhythm. Our circadian rhythm is our bodies way of telling us to sleep when its night time and wake when its daylight. Our babies will not establish this until 6-8 weeks. Therefore, sleep when you can and try not to watch the clock too closely. Your baby will need 6-8 feeds a in 24 hours and potentially more if breastfeeding so expect to be feeding your baby a number of times overnight.

Most importantly remember that things will get easier. As you and your baby get to know each other you will become more experienced in anticipating their needs, and be able to relax more into the enjoyment of parenting your new little human with your newfound knowledge and burgeoning confidence.