The Emotional and Psychological Aspects of Breastfeeding
Any woman who has breastfed a baby knows that there is so much more to breastfeeding than may be viewed by the interested observer. They know that much of what they were told regarding breastfeeding before having their baby, looks somewhat different when truly in the space.
It’s 2am and you are in a deep sleep of exhaustion like you never thought possible. Exhaustion that results from a previous busy day of care, relentlessly attending to the needs of another, checking yourself often to ensure you are doing things ‘correctly’, feeling anxious about what might happen next, so trying to keep in front and commencing tasks only to be interrupted by a higher need over and over. Then, when finally the day has ended at 11pm, you have fallen into bed, thankful for your pillow and the comfort of a mattress, the warmth of your doona…..at last!
The sound of a baby crying seems distant at first, then closer as you realise it is your baby crying, and only you will do…. yet again. You spring up out of bed, stumble into your slippers and dressing gown, knowing that you will now be in the chair in his room for the best part of an hour, feeding, changing, burping and settling... yet more interrupted sleep.
The house feels so cold, dark and unwelcoming as you feel your way down the hall to his bedroom. As you enter the room you are aware of the smell of a dirty nappy, which you consider leaving for now as his cry seems to scream a desperate hunger. But no, you change the nappy whilst his cry continues, feeling anxious lest he wakes the rest of the house. You place him back in his cot, so you can quickly get to the bathroom to wash your hands prior to the feed and his cries escalate… the rest of the house must surely be awake now and you can feel your heart racing. Why is this so much more stressful in the middle of the night?
You pick your baby up, the two of you sink into the recliner chair, as you unbutton your top and he lunges at your exposed nipple… silence at last.
As your baby hungrily sucks at your breast, you feel your breast milk let-down and your baby settles into a rhythmic suck. You lean back into the chair, feel your shoulders drop, you then shut your eyes momentarily and enjoy the silence of the house once more. As you look down on your feeding infant, watch the movement of his lips over the areola of your breast as he draws milk from your full breasts, you marvel at the physical connection of the two of you and feel a surge of love for this helpless human, who is so very dependent on your body for survival.
“It seems that breastfeeding was as much about emotions as it was about the physical transfer of breast milk from mother to baby. It was an emotional roller coaster, especially at specific times like getting started, when dealing with difficulties and weaning. There were great highs when things were going well and the women were feeling confident and lows that could be devastating when they were not.”
This UK weblink contains some interesting video of parents being interviewed regarding the emotional experience of breastfeeding for them. Remembering that whilst everyone’s experience is their very own, it can often be interesting to get another’s insight to help inform your own:
…I hope you enjoy their stories.