The Influence of Dads …

For decades researchers have studied the impact of father involvement on children’s developmental outcomes, the co-parenting relationship, and development of fathers themselves. Here is a plethora of results from a variety of researchers.

Studies in fathers and toddlers showed an impact in their cognitive functioning (Nugent, 1991), they are better problem solvers as toddlers (Easterbrooks & Goldberg, 1984), and have higher IQ’s by age three (Yogman, Kindlan, & Earls, 1995). When compared with mothers, fathers’ talk with toddlers is characterised by more wh- (e.g. “what”, where” etc.) questions, which requires children to assume more communicative responsibility in the interaction (Rowe, Cocker, & Pan, 2004).

School aged children of involved fathers are also better academic achievers. (National Centre for Education Statistics, 1997; Nord & West, 2001). Children of involved fathers are more likely to demonstrate more cognitive competence on standardized intellectual assessments (Lamb 1987; Radin 1994) and have higher IQ’s (Gottfried et al., 1988; Honzik, 1967; Radin 1972; Shinn, 1978).

Children of involved fathers are more likely to enjoy school (National Centre for Education Statistics, 1997), have positive attitudes toward school (Flouri, Buchanan, & Bream, 2002; Flouri, 2005), participate in extracurricular activities, and graduate. Father involvement seem to have an significant impact in the life of our young ones. 

Most recent research is also looking into the more general male influence on children’s outcomes, not only from fathers but from uncles, grandfathers, godfathers, male coaches and other male figures, etc. This is very encouraging, and of great significance as we face a present and future with more and more families not having an adult male living in their home.

After decades spent in family homes, there is no doubt in my mind that dad’s are incredibly important. They do things differently …. not better or worse, just different. The child soon learns the difference in rhythm and between mum and dad, which makes for a more extensive repertoire of experience.

Here’s some ideas for dads and their infant ….

Today’s dad spends more time with their baby than dads of past generations did. Although dads frequently yearn for closer contact with their babies, bonding frequently occurs on a different timetable, partially because they don't have the early contact of breastfeeding that many mums have.

But dads soon realise, early on, that bonding with their child isn't a matter of being another mum. In many cases, dads share special activities with their infants. And both parents benefit greatly when they can support and encourage one another.

Early bonding activities that dads can experience include:

• participating in labor and delivery

• skin to skin contact – yes, take your shirt off, allow your newborn to lay on your chest wearing just a nappy, with a bunny rug over both of you for warmth

• feeding (breast/bottle)- some dads report that sharing the quiet time with their baby during a night feed/nappy change strengthens the relationship between them and their baby 

• reading and singing to your baby

• giving your baby a bath

• mirroring your baby's facial expressions and movements

• mimicking baby's cooing and other vocalisations - your baby’s first efforts at communicating with you

• wear your baby in a front baby carrier/ sling during routine activities

Here’s some ideas for dads and their toddler/ preschooler/ child …

Use positive discipline. Drop the authoritarian act in favor of being a leader and a teacher. Punishments like spanking and time out cause disconnection and don't teach the child how to improve, whereas teaching problem-solving skills and using fair and logical consequences with a healthy dose of empathy will keep the connection intact and give your child skills for better self-control.

Play is powerful when it comes to connection. Chase them around the yard, run through sprinklers, have a dance party, or dress up and act out a book. Children long for this kind of active play and laughter with you, and it's a surefire way to build connection fast.

Make loving rituals a part of your day. Most people think of bedtime for this, and that is a wonderful time to connect, but there are other options as well. From making breakfast together every morning to putting jokes or notes in your child's lunchbox, there are little opportunities all throughout the day to convey the important message of ”I love you. You matter.”

Tell them family stories and stories from your childhood. Kids love to hear what it was like when you were little and this also helps them to get to know you better. They start to understand that you're not just dad, but a person with a history and a story, and this brings closer connection.

Start a journal with your child. Write back and forth to each other regularly. This opens the opportunity for her to tell you things she might not want to say face-to-face as well being a kind of memoir of her childhood and something she will cherish as an adult.

When fathers engage in intentional activities with their children, they can facilitate opportunities to practice abilities needed for the twenty first century. Tomorrow’s adults will be required to find work-life balance, circumnavigate and manipulate technical equipment and/or tools, work in cooperation, follow instruction, actively listen and problem solve. Having a significant male in their life brings a different experience… not better, not worse, just different enough to extend life’s repertoire.